.Editor's Note: The adhering to is the message of a character coming from Trip 3 Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Resigned), reassessing the celebrations of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not created very much concerning specifics of this mission during the course of the month I've been here, mainly for 2 causes: the initial being actually that there has actually been quite little time to carry out that type of creating, and also furthermore, given that I am actually unsure how relaxed I am sharing notions I show family and friends along with the rest of the globe.Well, obviously the globe changed today. What I mention or carry out is actually quite slight reviewed to the importance of what occurred to our country today when it was assaulted through ... by whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we understand, I guess. Hard to recognize at whom to point our anger and also concern ...I had simply finished a number of tasks this morning, one of the most taxing being the physical examinations of all staff members. In an exclusive talk observing that, the air travel plastic surgeon told me they were actually possessing a quite bad day on the ground. I possessed no suggestion ...He described the circumstance to me as absolute best he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was flabbergasted, then frightened. My 1st idea was that this wasn't a genuine conversation, that I was actually still paying attention to one of my Tom Clancy strips. It just really did not seem feasible on this incrustation in our nation. I couldn't also imagine the particulars, also just before the headlines of more destruction began can be found in.Vladimir dropped in pretty promptly, sensing that something very severe was actually being covered. I swayed Michael into the element also. They were actually also amazed and also stunned. After our company signed off, I tried to clarify to Vladimir and also Michael as ideal I could possibly the prospective measurement of this show of terror in midtown New york and also at the Pentagon. They clearly understood and were really sympathetic.I glanced at the Globe Chart on the personal computer to find where over the globe we were actually and also noticed that our team were actually happening southeast away from Canada as well as will be passing over New England in a handful of minutes. I zipped around the station till I located a home window that would certainly give me a sight of NYC as well as took hold of the closest camera. It occurred to become a video camera, as well as I was actually looking south from the home window of Michael's cabin.The smoke seemed to be to possess a weird blossom to it at the foundation of the column that was actually streaming south of the area. After checking out some of the newspaper article our company merely received, I believe our company were checking out NY around the time of, or not long after, the failure of the second tower. Just how horrendous ...I panned the video camera the whole time the East Coastline to the south to find if I might observe any other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or anywhere else, however nothing at all was visible.It was actually quite difficult to deal with job afterwards, though our experts had some to do, but on the next track our team crossed the United States further southern. All three of us were actually functioning 1 or 2 cameras to make an effort to acquire viewpoints of New York or even Washington. There was haze over Washington, however no specific resource may be viewed. Everything appeared extraordinary from two to three hundred kilometers away. I can't envision the heartbreaking scenes on the ground.Other than the emotional influence of our nation being actually dealt with as well as lots of our consumers and also possibly some close friends being actually gotten rid of, the absolute most frustrating sensation being actually where I am actually is among solitude.Following day ... I suppose the exhaustion and emotional tension got the most effective of me. I couldn't keep awake and remain to write. Today was still complicated, yet our team started acquiring additional relevant information, plus our company had the honor of speaking directly with the Center Director, Roy Estess, that ensured our company that the ground teams would remain to work as well as ensure our safety, along with the risk-free function of the Station. Our company likewise talked to our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, who added that the partners in the Course are all absolutely dedicated to proceeding safe functions as well as support. These were actually never concerns for me. I know all these folks! The ground staffs have been surprisingly helpful, really understanding of the impact of the updates, and have actually tried to become as useful as possible. They have all been quite qualified and also concentrated though I can't think of the disturbance of this sort of information can be found in and also the thought and feelings that government properties may be in jeopardy. They never bypassed a beat, even when moving control centers. As well as a group of senior personnel as well as good friends gave our team a rather extensive instruction about what was actually known as well as what was being carried out in the authorities and also at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually extremely helpful and also sort of them to do in the middle of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has additionally been actually supportive and helpful, trying to uplink newspaper article when our very own resources were actually unusable, as well as stating kind phrases ...My crewmates have actually been excellent, also. They recognize it is actually been actually a tough day for me and the people on the ground, and also they have actually tried to become as also keeled and also helpful as feasible. Michael even corrected me my favored Borscht soup for dinner. As well as they give me loads of room to presume when I required it. They are actually really compassionate and also obviously shocked at whoever would certainly do this.I know numerous people in Washington, plenty of individuals that take a trip to DC as well as NYC, a lot of who are actually aviators, that I experienced certain I will acquire a minimum of a handful of items of trouble over the following handful of days. I received the very first one today when I found out that the Captain of the American Airlines jet that attacked the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I met Chic throughout plebe summer months when our company were in the D&B with each other, as well as our company possessed great deals of courses all together. I can not envision what he needs to of looked at, as well as currently I hear that he might have increased better than our experts may also think of through probably preventing his aircraft coming from being the one to attack the White Home. What an awful reduction, yet I'm sure Chic was battling fearlessly to the end. As well as splits do not stream the very same in space ...It's complicated to explain exactly how it feels to become the only United States completely off the earth at once including this. The feeling that I must exist with all of you, handling this, helping in some way, is actually overwhelming. I recognize that our experts perform the threshold (or even beyond) of a horrendous switch in the past of the planet. Numerous traits will never coincide again after September 11, 2001. Not just for the 1000s as well as lots of individuals straight affected through these ghastly process of violence, but probably for everyone. We will definitely find ourselves feeling differently about loads of points, consisting of perhaps area expedition, sadly.It is actually horrible to see smoke putting coming from cuts in your very own country from such a fantastic perspective. The duality of being on a space probe committed to improving live on the planet and checking out life being actually damaged through such purposeful, horrible acts is actually jolting to the subconscious, regardless of that you are actually. And the understanding that whatever will definitely be different than when our company launched by the time our company land is actually a little disconcerting. I have confidence in our nation and also in our leadership that our company will carry out everything possible to much better defend her and also our families, as well as to bring fair treatment of what has been done. I possess confidence that the great people at NASA are going to carry out everything needed to proceed our objective carefully as well as return our company securely at the right time. As well as I overlook every one of you quite. I can't exist with you face to face, as well as our company have a very long way to visit finish our goal, however be actually specific that my heart is along with you, and know you reside in my requests.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the last character ... Luckily, it's been actually an active week up right here. And to confirm that, like our country, our experts are continuing our intended road with business customarily (as long as achievable). Tonight the most up to date enhancement to the place, the Russian Docking Chamber will certainly be actually released from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (US time), it will definitely dock along with our company, at a slot never ever utilized prior to on the low point side of the Service Component. This new component will definitely give our team another spot to dock a Development or even Soyuz and are going to deliver a sizable airlock with two able to be used hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan satisfies, which our company will certainly perform a few of prior to we get back.The complication just before in taking care of today was too little news. The trouble right now is actually excessive. It came at one time when email was rejuvenated, and there's insufficient opportunity to read all of it! Plus it is actually too hard to handle all of it simultaneously. Yet I enjoy obtaining it, and also I truly value the excellent letters of assistance as well as relationship I am actually getting.Our experts are succeeding on board, receiving our job done, and discussing traits. Final evening our company possessed a lengthy dialogue over dinner about the value of these celebrations, the feasible actions to follow, and also what ought to be actually performed. After dinner, Michael resolved telling me that every email he obtained from good friends in Russia said primarily to tell me how sorry they were that this taken place, stretching their condolences, and also asking just how I was doing. Vladimir showed me the Russian word for "condolences" after consulting with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian as well as the English words are actually much extremely lengthy to verbalize conveniently.) Very types individuals.For the final two times, the Russian MCC has actually sufficed to transfer online shows of radio headlines about the celebration and associated stories, to ensure I was effectively educated. Every specialist that has come on free throw line to review a technique or even a trouble contends some point extended introductions to me with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom told our team that as a result of the big day of recognition in the US, all day folks had been actually bringing flowers as well as edging all the walls of the US consular office in Moscow, and also this evening they were lighting candles in the road outside the consulate. Exactly how the globe has actually modified.Individuals everywhere appear to acknowledge the senselessness as well as terror in this particular assault. And the incredible reduction. Moscow has actually managed these type of concerns in the last couple of years with house and subway battles, so they are as anxious to get rid of this risk as our team are actually. However all-time low collection is that there are actually good folks just about everywhere who intend to reside in tranquility. I go through that a kid inquired, "The United States is actually so great to various other nations, we always help every person, just how can they dislike our company a lot?".I hope the example of participation and rely on that this space capsule plus all people in the course demonstrate daily will one day encourage the remainder of the globe to function similarly. They must!Unfortunately, our experts will not be actually flighting over the United States while individuals are lighting candle lights. Do not recognize if our team can find that anyway. Our experts did, nevertheless, see a very unique as well as stunning sight a couple of moments ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz enhancer. We were overtaking it and it emerged regarding 3 mins after its own launch coming from Baikonur as the sunshine struck our terminal, so it was actually still in the dark. It resembled a large comet along with a directly, broad tail silhouetted versus the dark earth beneath. Regardless of some poor lighting fixtures for some time as the sunlight reached our home window at a low angle, I dealt with some video of it as initially our experts passed the rocket, and afterwards saw it begin to mesmerize as it gained altitude as well as velocity. I shot until major motor deadline and booster separation developed just like we came close to daybreak on the Mountain ranges. An extraordinary view in an unforgettable full week ...Lifestyle takes place, even precede. Our experts are actually here to keep ... Frank.